Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
Randomize
