I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Randomize
