No seriously, I have to sell the house because my wife found out I'm gay.
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
Randomize
