I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
Joe is yelling at the trees again.
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
I licked your asshole in confidence.
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
Randomize
