Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
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