There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
Learned two new lessons today: 1) Do not identify pills found in one's car by taking them to see what happens, especially while at work, and 2) There is no logical reason to keep ambien in one's vehicle...
Randomize
