I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
Apparently mediocre decisions were made last night. I woke up alone in my own bed with my fridge defrosted.
And I didn't go to bed alone. I am buckets of fail.
Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
Fun fact: You might be drunk if your vision is so blurry that you almost ask "do you know where my glasses are?" while you're wearing them.
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
Randomize
