Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
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