It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
Randomize
