we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
So I come home this morning to get ready for a job interview and there is garlic seasoning all over the hardwood and a knife in the wall. What. the. fuck.
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
Randomize
