I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
I am not drunk. I will recite the pledge.
I don't want you to recite the pledge!
Pledge alligien to america to united states of america
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
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