I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
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