perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
and she was petting her beer can
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
Randomize
