If i come over, it means nothing
Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
How do I recover from singing "your body is a wonderland" on his voicemail?
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
Randomize
