hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
Randomize
