oh god the rape fog is back!
if only i could text you this smell
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
OHMYGOD I LITERALLY JUST FINISHED JERKING OFF AND MY MOM BUSTS IN AND HANDS ME A BABY WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON IN MY HOUSE JESUS H CHRIST!
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
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