why did i wake up with a kid named Raphael in my bed this morning?
I dont know but you did call last night to tell me you found the last ninja turtle
I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
Randomize
