he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
TSA literally pulled two bottles of whiskey out of my bag. Once he saw the leopard print socks and the mickey mouse tank, he put it back in my bag and said "Have a fun trip, man."
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
