Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
Randomize
