drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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