I'm really into asian looking animals
He passed out mid-signature
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
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