He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
We're using joints as your birthday candles
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
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