Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
Did you finish that presentation yet?
No but don’t worry about it. I do my best work in the middle of the night. I’m like a hamster.
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
