Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
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