I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
Randomize
