U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up backwards on a recliner
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
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