there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
I just noped my wife on Tinder. Turns out I was the second one to find out that we both have it.
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
Randomize
