that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
want me to make you a grilled cheese? I can't guarantee it'll be as good as yours but i'll go down on you afterwards if you want
brb printing out this text and putting it on my bedroom wall
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
Randomize
