Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
Randomize
