Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
They have beer where we have blood.
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
Randomize
