she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
If you're in the liquor store 5 minutes before close, and you have to ask the cashier for a coin to flip to make a life decision because "vodka takes you to a bad place," you need to reevaluate your life.
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
why the fuck is there hamburger meat in the toaster. i repeat: WHY THE FUCK IS THERE HAMBURGER MEAT IN MY NEW TOASTER
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
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