She texted me and said she was fingering herself. Don't respond to this because she's the perfect girl. I'd love to smell her cell phone after that.
I assume you meant to text someone else on your contact list instead of your own mother...
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
Randomize
