It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
Randomize
