I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
Reggie can tackle my bush.
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
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