hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
Randomize