Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
I walk into the pharmacy and I'm like "I need three morning after pills" and the guy was like "uhhhh". All I said was "we didn't plan it, we all just got laid the same night"
Randomize