I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
Randomize
