I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
It's amazing how hard it it while drunk to not comment "fuck you" on dumb peoples' statuses
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
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