I'm not looking forward to the waking up early part. Or actually the wedding part. Or the reception part. But I am looking forward to the meaningless sex with some random guy I meet at the reception part.
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
Randomize