I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
