My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
Randomize
