I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
Randomize
