Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
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