i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
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i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
Randomize
