Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
Randomize
