i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
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