return my video game
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
Randomize
