Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
I just tried to light a cigarette with a tube of lipstick. If I had stayed in girl scouts maybe I could've made that happen.
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
Randomize
