I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
She woke me up with an urgent call telling me she was rolling on Mollie and swimming in the ocean. I mean that's just great. If she drowns, I'll feel responsible.
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
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