I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
Randomize
