My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
Randomize