I swear to god Kristen, if this "cute" guy you are trying to hook up with's friend asks me if we can role play, and I play his mother one more time, Im leaving. You have 3 minutes to save me or I am out.
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
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