After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
Randomize
