Just cropdusted the office
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
Randomize
