where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
no you cant smoke seaweed
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Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
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I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
Worse: texted mom-in-law by mistake that I sharted.
Worser: she offered to clean me up
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
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